168 jokes about cars
12 school jokesProposal
Little Susie comes home from school
and tells her mum that the boys
were asking her to do cartwheels and said she was very good.
Mum said: "Don't do them. The boys only want to see your knickers
Susie said: "I know which is why i put them in my bag!"
A man stumbles out of a bar. The police car over the road watches as he sluggishly moved across the car park after much effort finds his truck and falls in. Several other people came out got into their cars and drove away. The man slumps on his horn setting off his lights. The last of the people left the car park leaving the truck only. He starts the truck up and starts to pull away. He is immediately stopped. After breatherlyser he was found to have no alcohol in his system. ‘You will have to come down the station as this is obviously broke’ says policeman. ‘Doubt it sir’ says the man. 3 Short jokes
‘Why’s that ?’ Says policeman.
The man replies ‘I’m the designated decoy’
19 salesman jokes
A vacuum salesman
appeared at the door of an old lady
's cottage and, without allowing the woman
to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bag of dirt
all over her clean carpet. He said, "If this new vacuum doesn't pick up every bit of dirt then I'll eat all the dirt."
The woman, who by this time was losing her patience, said, "Sir, if I had enough money to buy that thing, I would have paid my electricity
bill before they cut it off. Now, what would you prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork?"
17 pope jokes
met with the College
to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel.
"Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews
are superior, by challenging you to a golf
The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life.
"Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "We'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres ... We can't lose!"
Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play.
The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus.
"Second?!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres?!"
"No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Woods."
10 religion jokesNext page Jokes
walks into the Post Office to buy stamps
for her Christmas
"What denomination?" asks the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic and one Methodist."