144 jokes about calls
51 cat jokes
Lenny went on vacation
and asked Bobby to watch over his house. About a week later, Lenny calls home and asked "How's my cat
Bobby hesitated and sadly told Lenny his cat died.
"What?! You shouldn't have broken the news to me like that! You should have done it slowly. The first time I called, you should have told me she was on the roof
. The second time I called, you should have said there was no way to get her down. The third time I called, you should have told me that you tried to get her off the roof, but she fell down and died," explained Lenny.
Bobby apologized and went about his day.
About a week later, Lenny called again and asked "How's my Granny
There was a long silence and then Bobby replied. "Well, she's on the roof."
51 Little Johnny jokes
A teacher asks her class: “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?”
She calls on little Johnny
. He replies, ”None, they all fly away with the first gun shot”
The teacher replies: “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”
Then Little Johnny says: “I have a question for you. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied: “Well I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
To which Little Johnny replied: “The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.”
48 teacher jokes51 condom jokes
One day in class
brought a bag full of fruit
. "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about. Okay, first: it's round, plump and red."
Of course, Johnny
raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered "An apple." The teacher replied, "No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking
." Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy, and colored red and brownish."
Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy."Is it a peach?"Billy asks."No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking,"the teacher replies. Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard."
By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally. "A banana," she says. "No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your thinking."
Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it's got a head on it." "Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!" "Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter
, but I like your thinking!"
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.47 sex jokesNext page Jokescall sayings
"You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work.
By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. "What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion!"