144 jokes about calls
67 Little Johnny jokes
's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire
station. The firefighter
giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is?"
Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.
Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!"
62 preacher jokes
There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish
He was saying, "Dam
fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."
The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"
57 Little Johnny jokes
The kindergarten class had a homework
assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids
to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon Little Johnny
, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.
Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.
"It's a period
" reported Johnny.
"Well I can see that" she said. "but what is so exciting about a period."
"Damned if I know" said Johnny, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."
56 asshole jokesProposal
kills a deer
and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner
. He knows his kids
are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn't tell them.
His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner dad?"
"You'll see", he replies.
They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating.
"Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint. It's what your mother sometimes calls me."
His daughter screams ... "Don't eat it, Jimmy! ... It's a fucking asshole
Mary's teacher asked "Stand up if you think you are an idiot ..." she sarcastically announced. Mary stoop up, smoothing her dress.8 Short jokesNext page Jokescall sayings
"Do you consider yourself an idiot, Mary?" The teacher said with a smirk.
"No, of course not. I just didn't want you to be the only person standing."