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Butt jokes

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Proposal

A proctologist (butt doctor) is walking in a hospital when an intern runs up to him with very important documents to sign. Frantically, the doctor reaches into his pocket to pull out his pen but instead finds a rectal thermometer. The proctologist gets red in the face and starts swearing.
The intern asks him if he's mad because he had grabbed the wrong tool.

The doctor replies "No, some asshole has my favorite pen!"     ~ Max

2     → Joke


Proposal

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom's and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:

"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I were there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year!

All my love.

P. S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."

3     → Joke


Proposal

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said: "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!"

The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!"

2     → Joke


Proposal

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called John, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over ...

John clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear 20 stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

John grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?''

No,' I replied.

'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T.

1     → Joke


Proposal

Teacher: give me a sentence with the word fascinate in it
Student: I have a jacket with 10 buttons on it but I only fasten eight     ~ Schiddly bop

0     → Joke



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