A passenger taps a taxi
drivers on his shoulder. The driver shits himself with shock, swerves nearly hitting a bus and stops inches from a shop window.
"Fuck-me, your jumpy aren't yer, I only tapped your shoulder" says the passenger.
"Sorry," says the cabby, "It's my first day. I've been driving a Hearse
for 20 years."
One day at the rest home, an old man
are talking. Out of nowhere the woman says, "I can guess your age
The man doesn't believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try.
"Pull down your pants
," she says.
He doesn't understand but does it anyway. She inspects his rear end for a few minutes and then says, "You're 84 years old."
"That's amazing," the man says. "How did you know?"
"You told me yesterday."