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At Heathrow Airport in England. A 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white horses. As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their side and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all was going well.

This was indeed a glorious display of pageantry and dignity.

Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip the most horrendous, earth-shattering, eye-smarting blast of flatulence, and the coach immediately filled with noxious fumes.

Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decided that was a ridiculous manner with which to handle a most embarrassing situation.

She turned to Mr. Bush and explained, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things even a Queen cannot control."

George W., ever the Texas intellectual and gentleman, replied, "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought. You know, if you hadn't said something I would have assumed it was one of the horses."

10     Horse Jokes


Proposal

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize you need to fart.

The music on the bus is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After A couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and looking really angry. That's when you remember you've been listening to your ipod.

2     Short jokes


Touring the city was a tour guide and a bus full of elderly people. 30 minutes into the tour, the guide feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns back only to find an elderly woman offering a handful of peanuts. With gratitute, he accepts and thanks the old woman.

Another 15 minutes and the same thing happens. This happens around 4 times. As the guide is offered again for the fifth time. He is now wondering, "Thank you, but why do you buy the peanuts if you do not eat them?", and the granny answers, "We just like the chocolate on them!"

2     Granny Jokes


A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?

The conductor. Business before pleasure.

4     Conductor Jokes


US Airways recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips.

Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.

Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"

2     Businessman Jokes






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