21 jokes about burns
We all know that a viola
is better than a violin
because it burns longer. But why does it burn longer?
It's usually still in the case.
What burns longer, a red candle
or a green candle?
Neither, they both burn shorter!
, a Chain Smoker and a Homosexual
go to the doctor.
The doctor says: "If any of you indulge one more time you'll die."
As they walk home they pass a bar. The Alcoholic has a shot of whiskey, falls off his stool stone cold dead. His friends are shocked.
As they walk along they come upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground still burning. The Homosexual looks at the Chain Smoker and says: "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead!"
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are interviewing for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets.6
First, the panel of scientists asks the brunette, "If you could go to any planet, what planet would you choose and why?" She answers promptly, "I would go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
Next, the panel asks the redhead the same question. Without any hesitation, she replies, "I'd like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings."
Finally, the NASA scientists ask the blonde the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. After pondering for several minutes, she finally answers, "I would go to the sun."
Several scientists suppress a laugh, but the lead interviewer, trying to take the blonde seriously, explains, "Well, if you went to the sun, you'd burn to death almost instantaneously."
The blond smirks and puts her hands on her hips. "Don't be stupid! I'd go at night!"