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Burn jokes

21 jokes about burns



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We all know that a viola is better than a violin because it burns longer. But why does it burn longer?

It's usually still in the case.

7     → Joke


We try to keep him out of the kitchen.

Last time he cooked he burned the salad.

8     → Joke


What burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?

Neither, they both burn shorter!

3     → Joke


An Alcoholic, a Chain Smoker and a Homosexual go to the doctor.

The doctor says: "If any of you indulge one more time you'll die."

As they walk home they pass a bar. The Alcoholic has a shot of whiskey, falls off his stool stone cold dead. His friends are shocked.

As they walk along they come upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground still burning. The Homosexual looks at the Chain Smoker and says: "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead!"

26     → Joke


Proposal

A man sunbathes in the nude and ends up burning his penis. His doctor tells him to ease the pain by dipping it in a saucer of cold milk. Later, his blonde wife comes home and finds him with his dick in a saucer of cold milk.

"Good heavens!" she remarks "I always wondered how you reloaded those things!"

5     → Joke


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