How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?13 Lawyer Jokes
1) Three. One to prosecute, one to defend, one to screw it the same way they do everything else.
2) How many can you afford?
How many violists does it take to screw in a light bulb?12 Light Bulb Jokes
None. They're not small enough to fit.
How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?7 Light Bulb Jokes
1) "Hmmm ... well there's an interesting question isn't it?"
2) "Define 'light bulb' ..."
3) "How can you be sure it needs changing?"
4) Three. One to change it and two to stand around arguing over whether or not the light bulb exists.
How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?13 Microsoft Jokes
1) 1001. One to install the new bulb, plus one thousand lawyers to assert intellectual property rights over every light bulb ever invented.
2) Microsoft doesn't change light bulbs. It declares Darkness (TM) the new standard.
How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?7 Light Bulb Jokes
One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, fifty to establish the state production quota, two hundred militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously order an American light bulb.