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Proposal

The school phoned me today and said: "Your son has been telling lies!"

I said: "Well tell him he's bloody good. I ain't got any kids!"

6     Short jokes


Proposal

A little boy was attended his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said: "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"

1     Short jokes


One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit shit. One of the boys said: "What is that?"

"'They're smart pills," said the other boy "Eat them and they'll make you smarter."

So he ate them and said: "These taste like shit."

"See," said the other boy, "you're already getting smarter."

42     shit jokes


A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

46     dollar jokes


A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents: "How was I born?"

His mother awkwardly answers: "The stork brought you."

"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"

"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma."

The boy begins his paper: "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

12     stork jokes






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