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Box jokes

31 jokes about boxes



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Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to a sex therapist who promised to only take their case if he knew he could help them. After hours of tests, he agreed he could help. He told them to stop at the store on the way home and buy donuts and grapes. Mrs. Smith was to toss the donuts at Mr.Smith's erection and eat the ones that stayed on. Mr.Smith was to roll the grapes across the floor and eat the ones that became lodged in Mrs. Smith's love canal.

A few weeks later, the Jones came to see the doctor. "Our friends the Smiths told us to come to you." they said.

The doctor ran the tests and came back to the Jonses. He told them he was sorry but there was just nothing he could do. The Jonses said "You helped the Smiths, why won't you help us?"

After continued begging from the Jonses, the doc said "ok, ok ... stop by the market on the way home and buy a box of Cheerios and a bag of oranges."

27     sex jokes


Proposal

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says: "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger".

He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then" he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

5     Short jokes


The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were: "Oh, Shit!"

Only the state of Alabama was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this!"

28     beer jokes


What's a perfect breakfast for a woman?

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

26     woman jokes


Proposal

Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.

His wife was really angry and told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 10 seconds, and it better be there!"

The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back into the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Rick has been missing since Friday.

8     Short jokes






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