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You have just received the Amish virus
. Since we have no electricity or computers
, you are on the honor system. Please forward this message to everyone in your address book and then delete all files on your hard drive.
Oprah went to her psychiatrist. The guy was sort of unconventional and sometimes told her to do bizarre things. Today he told her to strip down naked and get on all fours in his office. She complied. He then told her to crawl on over under the window near his plant. She wondered why, but did it. He then asked her to crawl over near the corner by his book shelf, which she did. After he kept telling her to crawl naked in various places in his office and her knees were getting rug burns, she finally asked him, "Doctor, is this some sort of new therapy?" He said, "No Oprah, it's just that I'm getting a new brown leather couch tomorrow and I want to see where I should put it." ~ I hates Bill Gates0 Proposal
A crowded flight is cancelled, and a frazzled agent must rebook a long line of inconvenienced travelers by herself. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushes to the front and demands to be on the next flight, first class.0
Agent: "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first."
Passenger: "Do you have any idea who I am?"
The gate agent grabs her public address microphone, "May I have your attention, please? We have a passenger here who does not know who he is. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to gate 17."
The man grits his teeth, "Screw you."
She replies, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."