3 little ducks go into a bar. "What's your name the barman asks the first duck?" "Huey" was the reply. "Hows your day been Huey?" "Great, I've been in and out of puddles all day ... what more could a duck want?"19 Sex Jokes
"What's your name he asked the 2nd duck?" "Dewey" was the reply "... and I've been in and out of puddles all day as well."
He turned to the 3rd duck and said: "I suppose your Louie ...?" "No she said batting her eyelids ... my name is puddles!"
What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?42 Baby Jokes
When you see teeth marks.
Why do men fart louder than women?43 Fart Jokes
Because they have a microphone and two speakers.
A blonde girl comes rushing home to her mum and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only count to 3 but I can count to 5. Look - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Does that mean I am special mummy?"34 Blonde Jokes
"Yes dear it does."
The next day the blonde girl comes running in again and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only say the alphabet from A to C but I can go until E. Look - A, B, C, D, E. Does that mean I am special mummy?"
"Yes dear it does."
The next day the blonde girl comes rushing home and says "Mummy mummy! Today at school we were getting changed for physical excercises and all the other girls had really flat chests but I had these ...!" She opens her blouse and reveals a humungous pair of DD breasts. "Is it because I am special mummy?"
"No dear it's because you are 25."
Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. He had the look of obvious relief on his young face. "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny?"26 Little Johnny JokesNext page JokesBoob Sayings
"I didn't have to go that far, mom. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK."