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’s worst air disaster
occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane
crashed into a cemetery
search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into
had created Adam
he noticed that he looked very lonely. He decided to help.
He said "Adam, I've decided to make you a woman. She'll love you, cook for you, be sweet to you, and understand you."
Adam said "Great! How much will she cost me?"
The answer came back, "An arm and a leg."
"Well," said Adam "what can I get for a rib?"
What's the difference
between a general
practitioner and a specialist?
One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.
A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Bernie Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Bernie Schwartz had the longest penis
he had ever seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "But I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."
And with that the coroner
used his tools to remove the dead man's schlong. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife
"I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase.
"Oh my god!" she screamed, "Bernie Schwartz is dead!"
3 guys go camping
in their new tent.
After a night's sleep, the guy sleeping on the left of the tent wakes up in a cold sweat and tells the others "I had the most horrible nightmare that somebody was trying to pull my dick
The guy sleeping on the right says "Weird! I had the exact same dream
The guy sleeping in the middle says "I had a dream that I was skiing ..."