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Did you know that O.J. Simpson, Monica Lewinsky, Ted Kennedy, and President Bill Clinton are all avid golfers?

O.J.'s a slicer, Monica's a hooker, Ted Kennedy can't drive over water, and Clinton can't seem to hit the right hole!

27     golf jokes


A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?"

The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!"

The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?"

The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone."

To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!"

29     teacher jokes


A young minister prepares to go to bed with his bride on their wedding night. Upon entering the bedroom he sees her lying down on the bed. Ever conscious of his duties to the Lord, he exclaims,

"Woman, don't you know that you should be on your knees?"

Her suprised reply: "Well, OK, if that's what you want. But I always get hiccups when I do it that way."

18     sex jokes


A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.

When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"

"What? You're crazy!"

"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."

"No!! Someone may see – a relative, a neighbor ..."

"At this time of the night? No one will show up ..."

"I've already said No, and NO!"

"Honey, it's just a small blowie ... I know you'd like it, too ..."

"No! I've said NO!"

"My love ... Don't be like that ..."

At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!"

20     intercoms jokes


A teacher asks her class: “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?”

She calls on little Johnny. He replies, ”None, they all fly away with the first gun shot”

The teacher replies: “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”

Then Little Johnny says: “I have a question for you. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied: “Well I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”

To which Little Johnny replied: “The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.”

57     Little Johnny jokes






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