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Blood Jokes
Top 20 Jokes about Blood



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Yo momma is so stupid she can't pass a blood test.

5     Yo Momma Jokes


How do you know that the bartender doesn't like you?

Your bloody mary has a string hanging out of it.

6     Blady Marys Jokes


Proposal

A man is backpacking through Ireland, when he sees a bar, and goes in for a drink. He sees an old man, who breaks the silence.
"You see this bar? I built this bar with my bare hands, found the finest wood, and planed it just so. But do they call me McGreggor the bar builder? NO!"
"You see that house out the window? I built that with my bare hands, blood, sweat and tears, too. Do they call me McGreggor the house builder? NO!"
"You see that pier on the lake? I built that with my own bare hands, drove the pickings against the tide and the sand, plank by plank, but do they call me McGreggor the pier builder? NO!"
The old man looks around to make sure no one is listening, and then leans in to the younger man.
"But you fuck one goat!!!!"     ~ McGreggor the.....

3     Short jokes


A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him.

"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?"

Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."

He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.

"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"

The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs,

"Not anymore! ... He is!"

16     Wife Jokes


Elton John wasn't the only one who composed a song for Diana:

1) Roxette - "Crash! Boom! Bang!"
2) Michael Jackson - "Blood on the dashboard!"

16     Princess Diana Jokes






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