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Blood jokes

22 jokes about blood



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Proposal

The school phoned me today and said: "Your son has been telling lies!"

I said: "Well tell him he's bloody good. I ain't got any kids!"

6     Short jokes


How do you know that the bartender doesn't like you?

Your bloody mary has a string hanging out of it.

5     blady marys jokes


A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him.

"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?"

Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."

He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.

"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"

The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs,

"Not anymore! ... He is!"

20     wife jokes


Elton John wasn't the only one who composed a song for Diana:

1) Roxette - "Crash! Boom! Bang!"
2) Michael Jackson - "Blood on the dashboard!"

16     Princess Diana jokes


Yo momma is so stupid she can't pass a blood test.

3     yo momma jokes






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