21 jokes about blood
13 → Joke
goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items.
"How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"115" she says.
The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her weight
The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"5 foot 8," she says.
The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".
She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman it is very high.
"Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat
19 → JokeProposal
A man is sitting at the bar
in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey
. One of his friends
happens to come into the bar and sees him.
"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink
before. What's going on?"
Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife
just ran off with my best friend."
He then throws back another shot of whisky
in one gulp.
"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"
The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs,
"Not anymore! ... He is!"
Yo momma is so stupid she can't pass a blood test.3 → Joke
10 → Joke
A policeman pulls a driver over for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer.
"I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."
"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station."
"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."
"Alright, we could get a blood sample."
"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."
"Fine then, just walk this white line."
"Can't do that either, officer."
"Because I'm drunk
14 → Joke
Elton John wasn't the only one who composed a song
- "Crash! Boom! Bang!"
2) Michael Jackson - "Blood on the dashboard!"
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