82 jokes about blondes
35 shoe jokes
A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes
, but didn't want to pay the high prices.
After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price."
Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either."
A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" she asks.47 sex jokes
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"
The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten Bitch", she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"
35 car jokes23 flashlight jokes
Two car salesmen
were sitting at the bar
. One complained to the other, "Boy, business
sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass
Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car!"
17 police jokesNext page Jokes
officer stops a blonde for speeding
and asks her very nicely if he could see her license
She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"