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Blonde jokes

73 jokes about blondes



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What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

There have been sightings of UFO's.

12     → Joke


A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" she asks.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"

The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten Bitch", she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

59     → Joke


What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?

They both wriggle when you eat them.

7     → Joke


Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

You can park in the handicapped spots.

11     → Joke


What's the difference between a blonde and your job?

Your job still sucks after 6 months.

36     → Joke


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