What do blondes and turtles
have in common?
When they are on their backs they are screwed
A ventriloquist comes onto the stage with his dummy
and starts his act. One bit requires his dummy to tell Dumb-Blonde Jokes. After a few jokes, an angry blonde woman finally stands up and starts speaking her mind.
"I have had it with the stereotyping of all blondes being stupid!" the woman yells, and she continues ranting on about this.
Finally, the ventriloquist says, "Sorry ma'am ..."
The woman cuts him off by saying, "You stay out of this. I'm talkin' to the dummy."
A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" she asks.36
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"
The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten Bitch", she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"