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Blonde jokes

82 jokes about blondes



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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?

There's whiteout on the screen.

9     computer jokes


What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?

Marriage.

35     marriage jokes


A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic.

All of a sudden there's a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom “I'm sorry, one of our engines has just shut off. We'll be delayed 45 minutes.”

Suddenly there's another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expresses his regret that they'll be delayed two hours.

Shortly thereafter, there is third bang and the pilot announces that they'll be delayed 3 hours.

The blonde turns to the guy sitting beside her and says, “Man, if the fourth engine shuts off we'll be up here all day.”

11     plane jokes


What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

1) There are some things even a blonde won't do.
2) Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won't stop until it gets blood.

22     lawyer jokes


A blonde girl comes rushing home to her mum and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only count to 3 but I can count to 5. Look - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Does that mean I am special mummy?"

"Yes dear it does."

The next day the blonde girl comes running in again and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only say the alphabet from A to C but I can go until E. Look - A, B, C, D, E. Does that mean I am special mummy?"

"Yes dear it does."

The next day the blonde girl comes rushing home and says "Mummy mummy! Today at school we were getting changed for physical excercises and all the other girls had really flat chests but I had these ...!" She opens her blouse and reveals a humungous pair of DD breasts. "Is it because I am special mummy?"

"No dear it's because you are 25."

42     stupid jokes






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