of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm
to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer
to give him some job to do.
The farmer told him to clean the shit
of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but for his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day.
The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads
of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done.
The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes. At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes were empty.
The farmer asked the manager: "How is that you made such difficult jobs during the first days, and now you cannot do this simple job?"
The manager answered: "Listen, all my life I'm cutting heads and dealing with shit, but now you ask me to make decisions
and his wife
were having a big argument
at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed
either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. "What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion
A 10 year old boy and a 10 year old girl approach the little girls dad one day, "I want to marry your daughter" the boy says. Thinking how cute this is the father asks the little boy "Well where will you live?" The boy replies we will live here in Sizie's room cuz it's bigger than mine."laughing the fater continues,"Well what will you do for money?"the boy replies"Well I get 5 dolars a week and Suzie gets 10 so that's 60 dollars a month between the two of us."The father still thinking how cute this all is asks" Well what if she gets pregnant? How will you take care of a baby?"and the boy says"Well we have been pretty lucky so far!"
Nina and Rosie were always trying to get the other's goat and today they were meeting for lunch
Nina noticed that Rosie was walking stiffly and asked what the problem was.
Rosie replied, "Oh nothing. It's just that my husband
is so big I just can't take it."
Nina replied, "I know, I know."
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall
. He approached a uniformed policeman
and said, "I've lost my grandpa
asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits