Big - 64 jokes
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.51
"You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work.
By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. "What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
An old Italian Mafia
Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns
, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch
You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES
A lady was in the stirrups at her gynecologist
's office having her annual checkup
, when she heard the doctor
talking to himself as he examined her: "My, what a big vagina
! ... My, what a big vagina!"
The lady was, to put it mildly, a bit annoyed. Being the assertive type she spoke up immediately: "Doctor, I can't believe what I'm hearing! I think it's incredibly unprofessional of you to say something like that. To say such a thing once was bad enough, but twice is outrageous!"
"I'm very sorry," replied the doctor, "please forgive me. But just to set the record straight, I only said it ONCE Once once ..."
A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable fidelity practices when suddenly, the woman reaches over and slices off the mans penis and angrily tosses it out the window of the car.6
Driving behind the car is a pickup truck with a man and his 10 year old daughter chatting away beside him. All of the sudden, the penis smacks the pickup in the windshield and flies off.
Surprised, the daughter asks her daddy, "Daddy what in the heck was that?!?"
Not wanting to expose his 10 year old daughter to sex at such a tender age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey."
The daughter gets a confused look on her face, and after a minute, she says. "Sure had a big dick."