Best jokes

What did God say after creating Adam?

I can do better.

What's Bill Clinton's idea of safe sex?

When Hillary is out of town.

A woman was cleaning her husbands dresser drawers when she found 3 golf balls and a box with $2000 in it. She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer.

The husband said I'm sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer.

The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said "I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the $2000 in the drawer.

The husband replied" Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them.

Yo momma is so fat. She doesn't have a waistline - she has a landscape.

How is a woman like a condom?

Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.