Yo momma is so fat, everytime she farts people think there's an earthquake!
A boy in bath with his mum asks: "What's that hairy thing?
Mum says:"That's my sponge.
The says: "Oh yeah, babysitters got one too. I have seen her washing Dads face with it."
A girlfriend asked: "If my left leg was breakfast and my right leg was lunch what would you prefer"?
Boyfriend says: "Eating between meals!"