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Bell jokes

18 jokes about bells



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Proposal

One day, a 5 year old boy went to visit his granny. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said: "Grandma, why don't you have a boyfriend now that grandpa went to heaven?"

Grandma replied: "Honey, my TV-set is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs makes me feel good and the comedies makes me laugh. I'm happy with my it as my boyfriend."

Grandma turned on the TV-set, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting knobs, trying to get it focus.

Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood his grandpa's old friend, now the grandma's minister.

The minister said: "Hello, son, is your Grandma home?"

The little boy replied: "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend!"

8     Short jokes


As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell and crew take you safely to your destination."

Joe sitting in the 8th row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right - is the captain a woman? I think I better have scotch and soda."

When the attendants came by with drink cart, he said, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"

"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."

"My God," said Joe, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."

"That's another thing," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the cockpit."

7     cockpit jokes


Proposal

There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an advert in the paper which outlined her requirements.

She wanted a man who:
1. would treat her nicely.
2. Wouldn't run away from her.
3. Would be good in bed.

Then one day, she heard the doorbell ring and answered it. On the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs.

The man says: "I'm here about the advert you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you."

The lady says: "Yes, but are you good in bed?"

The man asks: "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

2     Short jokes






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