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Chuck Norris doesn't believe in God, but God believes in Chuck Norris.

9    


Why are men like commercials?

You can't believe a word they say.

7    

businessman

girl,sexy
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. Last week I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."

His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. This week I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."

Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. Yesterday I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

32    


Why don't men believe in paternity tests?

Because the sample is taken from their finger.

6    

man,weed

To give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody noticed.

2    


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