Being - 38 jokes
Hospital34 hospital jokes
regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
16 Walmart jokes
One day I got hired to be a Walmart
greeter. I was doing a fine job untill a women
with her two kids came in.
This women was very ugly, fat, and disgusting. She kept yelling at her two kids, cussing all over the place.
I walked up to her and said, "excuse me mam, what lovely kids you have, are they twins
She cussed at me and said, "what are you fucking retarded, anyone with eyes can tell that they aren't twins, one's 7 and the other is 9!"
I though about this for some seconds and responded, "I didn't think they looked like twins but I just couldn't believe someone would want to sleep with you twice
That was my first and last day being a Walmart greeter.
31 wife jokes
left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday
, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting
with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife
and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye
25 man jokes
What do men
have in common?
They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human
22 russian jokesNext page Jokesbeing sayings
, a Frenchman
and a Russian
are viewing a painting
and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Briton "They must be British
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French
No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise
. They are Russian."