jokes4all.net

Beer jokes

35 jokes about beer


Search





What do a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?

They're both empty from the neck up.

4    

blonde:3

car
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were: "Oh, Shit!"

Only the state of Alabama was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this!"

20    


A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can.

He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!".

After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"

3    


A bloke takes his mates back to his new flat, after a few more beers.

One of the boys asks him: "What's the big brass gong for?"

The host says: "It's my speaking clock!"

"How does it work?"

"I will show you" and he hits it full pelt with a club hammer!

A voice from next door yells: "For fucks sake you cunt, its twenty to three in the morning!"

4    


What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

1) The viola burns longer.
2) The viola holds more beer.
3) You can tune the violin.

6    

violin

Ad
Ad