The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.22 Car Jokes
They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were: "Oh, Shit!"
Only the state of Alabama was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this!"
A bloke takes his mates back to his new flat, after a few more beers.15 Clock Jokes
One of the boys asks him: "What's the big brass gong for?"
The host says: "It's my speaking clock!"
"How does it work?"
"I will show you" and he hits it full pelt with a club hammer!
A voice from next door yells: "For fucks sake you cunt, its twenty to three in the morning!"
What do a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?5 Blonde Jokes
They're both empty from the neck up.
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN41 Woman Jokes
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked ... with beer.
What's the difference between a violin and a viola?10 Violin JokesNext page JokesBeer Sayings
1) The viola burns longer.
2) The viola holds more beer.
3) You can tune the violin.