Beautiful jokes

Beautiful - 32 jokes



A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, Just for fun, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

He then says: "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies: "The one on the right."

''That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The mother replies," I didn't like her!"

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A lonely frog, desparate for some form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"

"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

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A guy notices a beautiful blonde girl sitting at the bar watching the news. He thinks to himself "ok ill have some funn with her" so he goes over there and he notices that the news has a report saying that a guy is about to jump off a building thats three stories high. the guy tells the blonde that he'll make a deal with her that the guy on the news will jump. the blonde simply accepts the deal.

later on in the news they notice that the guy has jumped off the building.
the guy proclaims that the blonde owes him something cuz she has lost the bet and she replys saying

"i didnt think he would jump again"

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A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.

A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.

A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on.

Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?"

"I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex ... But a talking frog is pretty neat."

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Bill Gates threw dollars before Jesus, screaming to God, get out of my chair! Loud thunder sound emerged and Satan approached Bill Gates. Come Bill, you don't want to do with these f*ckers. So Bill Gates asked himself, well lets show me hell mr Satan. Occuring later Satan showed Bill Gates a few places. You need a living quarters for sure mr Gates. Come I show you. Satan showed the first room. A man was hanging on a cross and was constantly being whipped and was in deep agony. Bill said, I have a bad feeling about this. You can't go back to heaven explained the Devil, you bibed Jesus and wanted to take God's place, they are angry. Show me something better. The second room in hell had Windows computers and Bill Gates was impressed, 'This is like it Satan!' Bill was cheering up. Bill went in and the Windows computers showed an eternal blue screen and Bill discovered there were no Control Alt Delete. Satan replied, let me show you the best room. Every time an innocent by accident enters hell and picks this room an innocent is allowed to go back to heaven. Gates couldn't believe his eyes, a beautiful woman with a beautiful a*s as being taken by a big shaped man. The big shaped man his cock did seem to never stop and the man was smiling towards Bill and told while continuing f*cking it's the best room in Hell the Devil has. Bill Gates told, I want this room Satan, f*cking seems fine with me! Are you really sure Bill? Since all they see is a*s and legs spoke Satan to Bill. Yeah replied Bill. Bill entered the room, suddenly the beautiful woman disappeared. The man was smiling to Satan. The door locked, and Bill thought WTF? 'She was innocent explained the man, my cock is still hungry!' 'Put your pants down and assume the position and spread your legs Bill!'

And so it came Bill Gates is eternally being f*cked since both the big shapedman and Bill weren't innocent. Also Eternal Blue is another word for Bill's poor a*ss, Eternally Blue from the big cock going in and out.     ~ Devil O Naugthy

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