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Baseball jokes

15 jokes about baseball



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Tom addressed the ball and took a magnificent swing but somehow, something went wrong and a horrible slice resulted. The ball went onto the adjoining fairway and hit a man full force. He dropped!

Tom and his partner ran up to the stricken victim who lay, quite unconscious, with the ball between his feet. "Good heavens" said Tom, "what shall I do?"

"Don't move him" said his playing partner, "if we leave him here he becomes an immovable obstruction and you can either play the ball as it lies or drop it two club lengths away."

15     → Joke


Why did they stop the leper baseball game?

The pitcher threw his arm out and the left fielder dropped a ball.

0     → Joke


"Mommy, Mommy! Can Sheldon come out and play baseball with us?"

"You already know your little brother has no arms and legs!"

"Yeah, we know. We just wanna use him for second base."

0     → Joke


A bloke walks into a bar and orders 10 double whiskys and downs them in one.

Barman: "What's up?"

Bloke: "My youngest son just told me he's gay".

Next day he goes in and orders 15 double whiskys.

Barman: "What's up now?"

Bloke: "Just found out my oldest son is gay!"

Next day he goes in and orders 20 double whiskys.

Barman: "Fuck me! Does no one in your family like pussies?"

Bloke: "Yes - my wife!"

65     → Joke


Doctor: "Look, you're going to have to stop masturbating."

Patient: "Why?"

Doctor: "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

51     → Joke



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