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Bartender Jokes
Top 20 Jokes about Bartenders



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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

"Of Course," replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"

"Dublin," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."

"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.

"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

6     Bar Jokes


Proposal

A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The bartender pours him the drink and the guy drinks it down in one.

"Wow", says the bartender, "Something bad must happened".

"I came home early today," answered the guy, "went up to the bedroom, and there was my wife having sex with my best friend!"

The bartender pours the dude another triple shot. "This one's on the house". The guy gulps it down once again. The bartender asks "Did you say anything to your wife?"

The guy answers: "Yea, I walked up to her, told her we're through, pack your bag's and get out, I told her!"

"What about your friend?" asks the bartender.

"I looked him straight in the eye and said: Bad Dog!"

6     Short jokes


Proposal

A Chinese Homosexual Jewish man walks to a bar. He says to bartender
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Shit's be rough
Bartender: Shit??
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Me asian. I eat shit by the way, as I am a homosexual.
Bartender: Wow, cool!

Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man leaves bar without paying because he's a stingy Jew.
He comes back the next day.

Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: I control the world. By the way, any Cocker Spaniels for this Rothschild?
Bartender: No
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Me eat dog and read torah.
Bartender: Wow

Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man leaves the bar without paying because he's a stingy Jew.

Corpse of Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man arrives next day.

Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Can me have whisky, me son happens to be gay.
Bartender: ok

Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man leaves the bar and gets in his car before driving off and crashing into a lightpole and dying.     ~ Bill Gates Son

0     Short jokes


Proposal

A man goes to his wife saying.
"My wife, I hate you, you smell and are ugly!"
Wife says:
"Then why did you married me?"
"Man says'
Id on't know
Man pulls a glock 15 and shoots her in the head.

He goes to a Chinese restaurant where he meets a bartender.

Bartender: Herro, me chinese, want food?
Man: No     ~ Bill Gates Son

0     Short jokes






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