96 jokes about bars
16 → Joke
walks into this bar, jumps up on the stool and says to the bartender
, "Hey barkeep, it's my birthday
today. How 'bout a free drink
The bartender turns, looks at the dog and nods his head, "Sure pal, toilet
's right down the hall."
28 → Joke
walked into a bar and called for the bartender
"I'll have a glass of blood
," said one.
"I'll have a glass of plasma
," said the other.
"Okay," replied the bartender, "That'll be one blood and one blood lite."
17 → Joke
A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous babe nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says, "Hi, there, good looking'! How's it going'?"
She, having already downed a few power drinks, turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said: "Listen! I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, front door, back door, it doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just flat-ass love it!"
Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, "No kidding! I'm a lawyer
, too! What firm are you with?
9 → Joke
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink
. After a few more he needs to go to the can.
He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer
, do not drink!".
After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
63 → Joke
A bloke walks into a bar and orders 10 double whiskys and downs them in one.
Barman: "What's up?"
Bloke: "My youngest son just told me he's gay
Next day he goes in and orders 15 double whiskys.
Barman: "What's up now?"
Bloke: "Just found out my oldest son is gay!"
Next day he goes in and orders 20 double whiskys.
Barman: "Fuck me! Does no one in your family like pussies?"
Bloke: "Yes - my wife!"
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