Ball jokes

61 jokes about balls


A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be selfsufficient gets word that he is to return home.

He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief: "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts: "Tree."

The missionary is pleased with the response.

They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says: "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts: "Rock."

The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity. The padre is really flustered and quickly responds: "Riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them!

The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other! How could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied: "My bike."


A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she.


A man staggers into a hospital with concussion, Multiple bruises, two black eyes and a 5 iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

The doctor asked "What happened to you?"

"Well I was playing Golf with my wife when we sliced our golf balls into a field of cows. I found one stuck in a cows fanny, I yelled to my wife 'this looks like yours', I don't remember much after that ..."



Yo Momma's so fat she cannonballed in the ocean and caused the 2004 tsunami.     ~ anonymous



A family of three are in a hot air balloon. It's a mom, dad, and a toddler. The balloon catches fire and the mom says, "We need to get out of here!"

The dad picks up the two parachutes and straps one on himself and one on his wife.

"What about the baby?" Asks the mom.
"We'll have to leave him here." The dad replies, and he grabs the mom's hand, and jumps out.

The two landed safely, right outside of a small town. They went into a restaraunt, as they were hungry. The waitress says, "I think there's someone here waiting for you, you fit the description."

The couple follow the waitress to a table where their child is sitting!
"How did you get here? We thought you died!" Exclaimed the father.
The toddler said, "Me no stupid, me no dumb, me jump onto Daddy's bum! Daddy goes 'boom', and I go zoom, and that's how I got here so soon."

The mom is shocked. "I told you not to eat those beans for dinner last night!"