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Ball jokes

61 jokes about balls



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Two ants were in a sand trap watching a duffer flailing away.

"Quick," said the one ant to the other. "Get on the ball before he kills us."

3     → Joke


A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man," said his partner, "you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here!"

6     → Joke


One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game.

Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I've got Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here."

"Yes", laughed the devil, "but I have all the umpires!"

7     → Joke


Proposal

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. "Wow ... that looks deep." "Sure does ... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is." They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait ... no noise "Jeeez. That is REALLY deep ... here ... throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise." They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait ... and wait. Nothing.

They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and says, "Hey ... over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in, it's GOTTA make some noise." The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole.

Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as it's legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole. The two men are astonished with what they've just seen ... Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over. "Hey ... you two guys seen my goat out here?" "You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen! It came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!" "Nah", says the farmer, "That couldn't have been MY goat. My goat was chained to a railroad tie."

1     → Joke


What is the difference between baseball and law?

In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

3     → Joke


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