61 jokes about ballsProposal
A man lying on a nude beach noticed a little girl eyeballing his private bits as she approached, so he covered them with a newspaper.3 → Joke
When the little girl was close enough, she asked the man what he was hiding under the newspaper, to which he replied, "it's just my little bird."
The little girl asked if she could see the little bird, to which the man replied that she could not, because it was resting.
The man eventually fell asleep, forgetting about the incident.
A while later, the man woke up in a hospital bed, in AGONY, and cried out, "what HAPPENED???"
Just then, the little girl stepped in and said, "I tried to play with your little bird, but it SPIT at me, so I broke its neck, crushed its eggs, and burned its nest..." ~ Dreisdale
7 → Joke
One Sunday afternoon, a guy walks into a bar
with his pet dog
. The bartender
said, "Sorry, pal. No pets allowed."
The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets
game and you'll see."
The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game.
The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.
"Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when the Jets score a touchdown
?" asked the bartender.
The man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him for seven years."
3 → Joke
were in a sand trap watching a duffer
"Quick," said the one ant to the other. "Get on the ball before he kills us."
7 → JokeProposal
One Day the Devil
challenged the Lord
to a baseball
Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I've got Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here."
"Yes", laughed the devil, "but I have all the umpires
Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. "Wow ... that looks deep." "Sure does ... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is." They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait ... no noise "Jeeez. That is REALLY deep ... here ... throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise." They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait ... and wait. Nothing.1 → Joke
They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and says, "Hey ... over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in, it's GOTTA make some noise." The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole.
Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as it's legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole. The two men are astonished with what they've just seen ... Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over. "Hey ... you two guys seen my goat out here?" "You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen! It came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!" "Nah", says the farmer, "That couldn't have been MY goat. My goat was chained to a railroad tie."