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61 jokes about balls



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Proposal

Why did they stop the leper football game?

There was a handoff behind the line of scrimmage.

1     → Joke


Proposal

A man lying on a nude beach noticed a little girl eyeballing his private bits as she approached, so he covered them with a newspaper.

When the little girl was close enough, she asked the man what he was hiding under the newspaper, to which he replied, "it's just my little bird."

The little girl asked if she could see the little bird, to which the man replied that she could not, because it was resting.

The man eventually fell asleep, forgetting about the incident.

A while later, the man woke up in a hospital bed, in AGONY, and cried out, "what HAPPENED???"

Just then, the little girl stepped in and said, "I tried to play with your little bird, but it SPIT at me, so I broke its neck, crushed its eggs, and burned its nest..."     ~ Dreisdale

3     → Joke


One Sunday afternoon, a guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry, pal. No pets allowed."

The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see."

The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game.

The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.

"Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?" asked the bartender.

The man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him for seven years."

7     → Joke


Proposal

A man had looked through his wife's things and found 1 Skittle and $100,000 mixed in with her thongs. When she got home from working at the deli he asked her about it. She said every time they had bad sex in the last 50 years she put a Skittle in the box. The man thought 1 night of bad sex in 50 years wasn't that bad. Oh yeah, where did the money come from he asked. The wife said every 12 balls she sold them to the neighborhood kids for one dollar. The man told her if she did not like their sex to go live in Hawaii, off the money he made. The next morning she was gone.

1     → Joke


Two ants were in a sand trap watching a duffer flailing away.

"Quick," said the one ant to the other. "Get on the ball before he kills us."

3     → Joke


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