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Ball jokes

61 jokes about balls



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What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?

The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.

13     → Joke


Proposal

Why did they stop the leper football game?

There was a handoff behind the line of scrimmage.

1     → Joke


One Sunday afternoon, a guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry, pal. No pets allowed."

The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see."

The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game.

The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.

"Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?" asked the bartender.

The man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him for seven years."

7     → Joke


Proposal

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.

Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," was the reply.

"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question.

The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29."

"I am actually 47."

Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.

She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age."

As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants.

Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."

Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"

The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."

2     → Joke


Proposal

A man had looked through his wife's things and found 1 Skittle and $100,000 mixed in with her thongs. When she got home from working at the deli he asked her about it. She said every time they had bad sex in the last 50 years she put a Skittle in the box. The man thought 1 night of bad sex in 50 years wasn't that bad. Oh yeah, where did the money come from he asked. The wife said every 12 balls she sold them to the neighborhood kids for one dollar. The man told her if she did not like their sex to go live in Hawaii, off the money he made. The next morning she was gone.

1     → Joke


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