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Whats the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

A bad golfer goes: WHACK ... "Damn"! A bad Skydiver goes: "Damn"! ... WHACK.

20    


Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."

Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

7    


Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."

Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

16    


How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune?

The bow is moving.

3    

violin

A golfer called one of the caddies and asked, "I need a caddy who can count and keep the score. What's 3 and 4 and 5 come to?"

"10" said the caddy.

"Great, you'll do perfectly!"

5    


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