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Baby jokes

54 jokes about babies


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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.

Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."

71    

boy,soapbox

How long is the average woman in labor?

Whatever she says divided by two.

24    

girl,bikini:4

"Tell me a bedtime story."

"Fuck you."

"That's my favourite."

122    


caveman,food
A man speaks frantically on phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

47    


businessman:2
Three men are trapped on an island. They find a genie's lamp and agree they will each get a wish.

The first man wishes he was 25% smarter, then he swims off the island.

The second man wishes he was 50% smarter, then he cut down the tree, made a boat, and rowed off the island.

The third man wished he was 100% smarter, then he walked across the bridge.

45    


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