192 jokes about asses17 mechanic jokes
32 blonde jokes12 yo momma jokes
Two car salesmen
were sitting at the bar
. One complained to the other, "Boy, business
sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass!"
Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde
, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car!"
26 asshole jokes
had just been laid off from work
. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge
getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing
all around on the river bank below.
He thought, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got off the railing.
He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life.
"Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."
"Dancing? I'm not dancing!" the armless man replied bitterly ... "My asshole
itches, and I can't scratch
24 dog jokesNext page Jokesass sayings
One day, a blind
man and his dog
are walking down a street, they come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic
zooming by on the street, leads the blind man out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.
The blind man and his dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie
out of his coat pocket, and offers it to the dog.
A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"
The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."