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money
A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.

She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?"

She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"

She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?"

She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"

Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that blow job I promised you?

Here it comes ..."

32    


What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.

11    


A boy in bath with his mum asks: "What's that hairy thing?

Mum says:"That's my sponge.

The says: "Oh yeah, babysitters got one too. I have seen her washing Dads face with it."

122    


woman,roses
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"

She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

75    


Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?

She got cold and turned off the fan.

27    

blonde:2

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