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Police Quote: "In God we trust, all others are suspects."

16     God jokes


Proposal

After a whirlwind sex tour of Chinese brothels, a man comes back from his vacation, exhausted but happy. A few weeks later he notices purple and green rings on his penis. Terrified that he caught some disease he goes to his doctor. He runs some tests and tells him that he has Chinese VD and his penis must be amputated. The man is horrified and gets a second opinion. The other doctor says the same thing- the dick has to come off. Finally, the guy reasons to himself, "Since I got this from some Chinese tart, I'll go to a Chinese doctor and see what they say. So, he goes to see Dr. Hu G Wang. The man shows him his penis and says that all the other doctors said he needs to have his dick cut off. Dr. Wang shakes his head and laughs. "American doctors- always want to operate. No worry! You have Chinese VD. It OK!" The guy heaves a huge sigh of relief! "No, no cut dickie off, after week dickie turn black and fall off.

1     Short jokes


One Sunday morning, the priest noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names. And small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Little Johnny."

Little Johnny: "Good morning! Father Scott, what is this?"

Father Scott: "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

Little Johnny: "Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?"

15     priest jokes


A Chinese family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States.

In order to get a visa, they had to adapt their names to American standards.

Chu became Chuck.

Bu became Buck.

Hu became Huck.

Su and Fu decided to stay in China!

11     Chinese jokes


The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.

33     food jokes






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