How many socialists
does it take to change a light bulb?
One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, fifty to establish the state production quota, two hundred militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously order an American light bulb.
: "Fred can you find me America on the map please?"
Fred: "There it is!"
Teacher: "Now, Johnny
, who discovered America?"
Little Johnny: "Fred did!"
An Air Force cargo plane
was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland
. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage
holding tank. The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out.
When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment
, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"