Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today."

Mother: "Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?"

Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history."

Mother: "Well, at least you can add!"

11     Little Johnny jokes

Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4?"

Little Johnny: "That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!"

8     Little Johnny jokes

Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have?"

Little Johnny: "Nine."

Teacher: "That's not right, you'd have eight."

Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!"

2     Little Johnny jokes

Father: "What did you learn in school today?"

Son: "That three and three are seven."

Father: "Three and three are six!"

Son: "I guess I didn't learn anything today then!"

1     learning jokes

A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+ 2?"

The housewife replies: "Four!"

The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."

The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"

5     lawyer jokes

Next page    Jokes