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How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Amish don't believe in light bulbs. God will provide light unto the world.

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How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?

1) Two. One to change the light bulb and one to kill the other and take all the credit.

2) None. There is no honor in changing a light bulb, besides, a true warrior isn't afraid of the dark.

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

1) Five. One to climb the ladder, four to say "That should be me up there!"
2) None. The stunt double does it for them.

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How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes millions of years.

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How many violists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They're not small enough to fit.

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