"Do you really believe your husband
when he tells you he goes fishing
every weekend?" asked Jane's best friend.
"Why shouldn't I?" said Jane.
"Well, maybe he is having an affair
"No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish
A couple go on vacation to a fishing
resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and takes a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.
Along comes a forest policeman in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman
and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment
. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the policeman.
"That's true," replied the woman, "But you have all the equipment."
and, following the wedding, the husband
laid down some rules
"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing
, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"
His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex
here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not."