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What have clouds and men got in common?

When they finally fuck off, it’s a very nice day!

56    

man,hiking

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said: "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

75    

man,firecracker

A man was rushed in to hospital yesterday because he swallowed a five pound note.

They are keeping him in for observation on his condition - but so far there has been no change!

29    


guys,furniture
A man is lost. He decides to stop and ask for directions at a farm.

Before he knocks on the door, he saw in the window an old, naked couple. The wife was pulling her breasts, and the husband was jerking off. Horrified, the man runs across the street to another house.

The homeowner tells the man, "They're deaf. She's saying 'Milk the cows,' and he's saying 'Go fuck yourself.'"

30    


Proposal

A little girl finds her dog dead with his legs in the air and she asks her dad why it's like that.

Dad says: "It has died and it's like that so jesus can pick it up and take it to heaven."

The next day girl says to dad: "Mom nearly died today. She was on her back with her legs in the air shouting: 'Oh Jesus, I'm coming, I'm coming and if the milkman hadn't been holding her down we would have lost her for sure!"

3    






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